Blessed!!

I was coming back from North campus to my friends place in South on 23rd evening. We, six of us, gave 10/- to this eunuch. S/he blessed all of us individually. I don't believe in superstitions, but I know that this is considered to be very lucky. I hope it holds true for me, and the other five too.

I feel blessed, and maybe thats what matters.

Mish-ika :)

<3

People try to harm it but the caravan moves on,

The caravan finds love-an eternal bond.

Love resides like a secret inside,

The two lovers promise to stay side by side.

Its something that cannot be broken,

Its unbreakable because o the words that were spoken.

The lovers love, the lovers hide,

But no one can take away from them what they have, even if they died..

One-on-One With Delhi Police, and Weird Cheesy Guys

For the first time in my life I actually complained about eve teasing and action was taken there and then.

Whole of Lakshya was travelling back from North to our college in two cars, Priyams' and Hibas'. Hiba being the slow one was far behind, so we were actually quite taken aback when she came zooming to overtake us. The race went fine till we noticed this Indica with weird cheesy guys following us. They parked just outside the petrol pump where we'd stopped to re-fuel the car, and resumed their drive right after ours. Not giving much attention to them , we continued our race. Apparently, they thought we were racing with them and they overtook us. Their indicator changed with ours on every red light from there on.

When we finally stopped outside college to grab some chhola-bhatura, they stopped too. Quite creepy. That's when I called the cops, who turned up withing 5minutes. (Impressive, isn't it??)

Well, turned out that the guys were "decent" boys from Hindu College, Delhi University, and were just having random fun. Random Fun. A car full of weird hooligan guys chasing a car full of girls is not exactly my idea of fun. We let them go after all the apologies that they made. They were too shocked by the whole incident. And quite frankly, I was too.

Men are such a menace. Education or no education, they're all the same. If not you, they'll be out there chasing some 100 other females. It's just so crazy.

Dogs. Hope they've learnt their lesson.

Messed Up Metro Ride!!

I'm now too sure about the fact that whenever I step out of my house, I'm all set to prove Murphy's Law!!!

I left from Gurgaon for college at 7.30, after spending yet another night out (2nd in the week!!) at a friend's place. I was planning to take a bus from CP to college, but ended up coming back home instead.

All was good till I reached Yamuna Bank Metro Station, where the idiotic Metro terminates. (I had already been pushed around way too much, so calling it 'good' isn't really all that appropriate. But on second thoughts, it was much better than what was going to happen next!!) So to get home, I needed to take another one. My chappal broke as soon as I got out of the first Metro.

Worse, I fell down!! Gathering all my belongings together, I rushed to the platform, with my one chappal in one hand, my bag and cell phone in the other, yellow socks in one feet, and yellow socks with black chappal in the other. Quite messed up, I know!

I stood next to the wrong side when the station came (Ok This really wasn't my fault. How the hell was I supposed to concentrate when so much was happening??). Again came the pushing bit, just that this time I was pushing everyone who came in my way. I took off my socks and kept them in my bag. (They're new, and I love them. :P). And my chappals were in my hand. I obviously had all eyes glued to me, all trying to figure out why would a girl walk barefoot on an early cold winter morning, that too at the Metro station!!

Horrible way to start the day!!

I can only it gets better, after all I have Lakshya later. :P

"....."

24th October,

9.30 am

अनचाही राहों में

बस तेरी बाहों में

चले हम जा रहे

उम्मीद लिए निगाहों में

कुछ है शिकवा

थोडी हैं शिकायतें

पर अब चाह कर भी नहीं रुक सकते

चाहे कितनी हो हिदायतें

सोच कर की क्या बीत चुकी है

शायद कहीं हम ठहर जाएँ

पर फिर आगे बढ ही गए

चाहे कोई कहर ढाए

जो होना था वोह हो ही गया

क्या करें अब यूँ सर झुकाए

शायद इसी लम्हे को याद कर के

कल गम में भी हम मुस्कुराएँ

:) ??

What's the big deal about saying "SORRY"??

"Sorry."

"I am sorry."

"I am sorry for you."

What is the big deal about apoogising to someone? Why do we make it such an ego hassle? OK I realise I did/said something stupid, then why does apologising for it become such a big fuss. It really isn't all that difficult. It’s just a word. It won’t make u big, or make me small. I’m allowed to make mistakes, and so are you. Why apology can’t be taken in the same harmless way is something that I fail to understand. I have so many times been coaxed into saying sorry, the recent line that was used being –“you be the bigger person and apologise.” Dude hello! I don’t want to be the bigger person. Not interested.

There are times when I do apologise even when I know I'm not wrong. But that is just to set things straight. If one word can remove so much negativity, then why not? Instead of blowing it up so much, it’s a better option to say sorry when need be. Or maybe later you’ll end up feeling ‘sorry’ for yourself.

Diwali.. Friends.. Just

It's been long since I last logged in. Have been just too busy with Lakshya, and Concoction '09 lately. It's only now that I know how much goes into getting a fest together! We still have no money and it's just hope we are surviving on till now.

Anyway, Diwali was all happy as always. happy Diwali to all of you. :) Had a lot of fun. But now that the weekend is over, I am back to the same old routine -college from 8 to 8 and then crash!!

The week has been quite eventful. Got to meet some old friends I wasn't in touch with. Had a great time. Some things are just meant to be, no matter how much you try and avoid them.

Have just finished updating my other blog, so don't have any energy left for this one. Maybe next time.

Perfect Bride?? What the HELL!

(cut, copied and pasted from my other blog)

I know it's slum development for this week, but this is something I just can't resist writing about. I came across this serial called "Lux Perfect Bride" on Star Plus yesterday when I was randomly surfing channels. So this is what I saw- some 5-7 young girls sweeping the floor, cooking, washing clothes, and doing all sorts of gharelu things, with a voice-over that said something like- "Itna to ladki ko aana hi chahiye. Agar khana bana aur saaf-safai nahi aati ho toh woh ek acchi bahu kaise bann sakti hai?"

What the hell? What exactly are these my-life-is-almost-gone-and-this-is-my-last-chance-to-gain-fame type aunties really looking for when it comes to choosing a daughter-in-law? Education comes way down their lists. It's almost like they are getting a maid to do all the household work, just that she should be VERY fair, and VERY good looking, and yes, their sons have a say in this too!

Just when I thought media was becoming a tad bit more responsible towards portrayal of women in ads, serials, movies, etc, there comes this superbly degrading show which burst my bubble even before it got shaped.

These are the things which should be banned. This not-so good looking aunty ji thinks only good looking girls will make nice bahus. What kind of people are these? They themselves have ugly looking sons who have nothing better to do than come on some reality show for their supposed soul-mate. Same goes for girls. I wonder what they were thinking, or if they were thinking at all! So much for fame and money!

P.S. Personally, I would want in-laws who can cook well so that I get good food when I come back home after working hard all day (that is IF I ever get married).

Metamorphosis: Capture Change!

These are the pictures which I'd sent for a photography competition (topic was same as title) held yesterday in my college. Even though I didn't win, I love these pictures, and therefore am posting them.

I liked this too but (the mirror one) didn't signify any change, so I decided on the other three.

Let me know what you think of them.

The Good, the Bad (and the Inevitable End!) of Relationships :X

Somehow all relationships that I thought, even till the beginning of this year to be lifelong, ended in the most disgusting way. I don't know if it was my fault (I'm so sure I can't be wrong always!!) or the other person, but the fact remains that we are no longer a part of each others life.

Instance 1: I knew her for the longest time I have ever known a person. She was my 'best friend forever' type friend. We'd been there, with each other, through thick and thin, through everything. Still something went wrong, something so grave that it cannot be reversed no matter how hard I try. It just cant be back to what it was. I am still friends with her, still same on the face of it, but deep down I know I can never trust her, never ever. Its ruined, forever! :(

Instance 2: If ever there was any person who came close to me in the shortest time period possible, it was this friend from school. We were best friends for about two-three years and suddenly that came to an end too, in another disgusting but sort of expected way. I still did expect us to sort it out sooner or later, but i guess its already to late. I have learnt so much from this. One thing is for sure, I can never invest 100% in any of my relationships because I am more than sure that it will end. So well, whats the point?? *sigh*

Instance 3: The same happened with another close friend. We had issues with how we dealt with stuff on a regular basis. But that was something we always sorted out. Then suddenly he walked out of my life. no questions, no explanations. just (maybe not so) randomly. But now I know think it was sort of a good thing to happen, for reasons I'm still trying to get straight in my head. All i know is I can never be friends with him again, for the simple fact that you are no on to keep walking-in and out of my life as per your own convenience. Hello!! I might be an emotional fool, but I'm not all that dumb!

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is, after seeing all this in just year (actually from March to June only), that all relationships do come to an end sooner or later. I am no one to make such a comment about everyone, but it definitely is true for me. No matter how hard I (we??) try, it just does end. People don't remain in touch, some just get better friends, and most just generally grow apart. There is this expiry date that comes along with all my relationships, its just inevitable.

And I'm living with it now, and it's just a very convenient thing to do as of now. Regrets can come later if they have to.

:D

Chhu kar

Mere mann ko

kiya tune

Kya ishara

Badla yeh mausam

Laga pyaara jag saara...

Chhu kar..

Main khush hoon aaj khamakha!!

I've not been this happy for quite a while now. There is no particular reason (maybe there is, still figuring it out though!) but its just a phase which I want to enjoy till it lasts, and write about it so that I can feel the same joy again when I read it later.

There is no justification for doing something that is wrong, because since you know it is a wrong, the justification doesn't help. The other option can be to not think about it. Right now I know I am wrong, and as she said it- "It's karma, it will all come back to you sooner or later."- I'm ready for that also. Being selfish isn't that bad a thing after all, specially when you have given the other person food for thought.

I'm enjoying this time and I refuse to get out of it for my selfish reasons. I know I'm hurting people but then I've been hurt too. (Just when I thought I was happy, I realised how cynical I have become!!)

Anyway,

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ya iss dil mein hai koi wajah

Na jaanu main iss mod par

Ajab aisa hua hai kya

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ki dil mein khushi ke rang hain

Aur mann mein shukriya

Ki ye samay mere sang hai!

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Na darr na fikr hai ab mujhe

Takdeer to khud hi likhi hai

To kaun rok sakega mujhe??

What will be, will be!

We all have to resort to believing in destiny at some or the other point in our lives, and that usually happens when we don't have much idea about what is happening in our lives, or maybe even why it is happening.

If it is actually in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped, then more often than not we should be aware about what lies in store for us. This, surprisingly, doesn't happen. When anything goes wrong, we blame it on destiny. When there is no explanation for an event to occur, we blame it on destiny. When our brain stops comprehending whats happening around us, we blame it on destiny. In simple words, as soon as we think we are losing control over our lives, and someone (something!) has to take charge, we blame it on destiny!!

This blame-game just makes life easier. No questions asked, no explanations sought! It also is a really nice way to pacify oneself about their life. its not really our fault when things go downhill, "because its written". How convenient!

These are some of my favorite quotes on destiny:

No living man can send me to the shades Before my time; no man of woman born, Coward or brave, can shun his destiny.

Author: Homer

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
Author: Wiiliam Jennings Brian

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.
Author: John Oliver Hobbes

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
Author: John F Kennedy

No Non-Veg :(

Its almost September. Exactly 3 months and 9 days left until I can have non-veg again. Actually it shouldn't be a can. I still can, but I know for a fact that I won't.

I quit non-veg almost 9months back, on my 18th birthday, for a year. I never thought it was possible to control the temptation for so bloody long, but I'm proud of the fact that I survived! I'm all the more impressed with myself because my other family members have non-veg almost everyday, for all three meals!! We all just loove chicken (any kind), well-cooked mutton (mostly the type my mother makes), not that fond of fish though.

3 more months to go. Not enough motivation left in me but I know I will survive. I wish I had asked for something in return, like a mannat or something. Would have definitely been a great motivation. Nevertheless, I will survive!

Maybe the picture will make me feel better about not eating chicken!

Waiting!!

My first, and my Last!

I am still not able to believe that we actually bribed a policeman today. When it comes to things like these, I'm the one who'll probably stand against the world and argue about not engaging in any activity that is not correct, no matter what the circumstances are!!

We were pulled over by the cops for using mobile phone while driving. Not ready to spare 1000/- bucks for the challan, we ended up bribing him with Rs.400. I still can't believe I was party to the whole thing.

I swear this was my first, and my last, no matter what..! :(

Thank You! <3

For some reason i couldn't finish my village traveller series. Its been long since i last blogged. Nothing inspired me enough to blog about it, or maybe there were just too many things happening for me to write about them.

I've had quite an eventful week. Things I never expected happened, people that I never expected would call did, it all feels so surreal. But I'm not complaining. Its just a phase, and I know it will pass. I just wanted to thank Vidu and Anirudh for being there when I needed them. I know you guys will never read this,but still wanted to let others know that you mean a lot to me.

And Lakshya!! I love you. What would I ever do without you??

And since its his birthday and we aren't really in terms anymore, happy birthday. Have a great day. Everything has an expiry date, and so did our friendship. Hard luck! :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day4

August4:

Visit to the school: My day started with a visit to the village school. Run bu the RSS, the school has a strength on 150 children, and since the fees is a handsome Rs.100, most of them do turn up. I attended the vandana (morning prayer) and then took

some interviews, all with the aim of using this data for my short film.

Aalta: Since the next day was both the Griha Pravesh and Rakhi, my father had sent for someone around noon to put aalta on my mothers feet. Excited about the whole deal, I got some put on my feet too. The colour still hasn't gone from my nails, to cover which I've put green nail paint, since only that was available. But I still loved it. That was my little effort to reduce the manliness my feet otherwise possess.

Swings: There is not much I can say about this. The picture will

explain better. The kids loved it. We spent so much of our evening time playing here. The fact that I almost fell is something I cannot miss. The slab turned vertical and I lost all control. And everyone thought that was funny! Meanos!!! Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know) I don't have a picture of that. But I very vividly remember what that felt like..!

Choodiwaali and mehendi: Ma needed some special bangles for the Pooja the next day. A choodiwaali had been summoned for that reason. And since I love mehendi, I

couldn't resist the cones that she was incidentally carrying. I love putting mehendi. I think it has the second-best (after petrol) smell in the world! I just keep looking for excuses to colour my hands, and since I was away for home and the next day was rakhi, there was no need to look for one this time.

Chumki had gone with the kids to get

guavas plucked.

They were red, and trust me they were the most delicious ones I have ever had. Really nice. We even managed to get a bag full for Delhi. Unfortunately, because of the heat, they over-riped. :(

Thats mostly how I spent my day, getting fascinated by things!

Goodnight :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day3

August 3:

Bloody dogs:First nights almost peaceful sleep (too many mosquitoes!!!) was interrupted by stupid wild dogs who started barking so very loudly. Some had entered the house, which was left open at night. (That's how people in villages sleep.) To top it all, I realised i was sleeping alone and I had no idea where to go, so i just got up and , after so many many years, i was actually calling out for my mother like a small kid in desperate need. I finally went back to sleep in the other room, with my father!

Bilaasi Bahu: The next morning was quite muggy, thanks to the drizzling that went on the whole night. Fortunately the air was only humid and not hot.

Bilaasi bahu (bahu=daughter in-law) is our cook. That's how everone knows her. That's her identity and that has actually become her name. So finding out what really her name was was quite a task. This is what the conversation between Ma and her went like, following the discussion about finding out 'her' name:

Ma: Whats your name.

BB: Why its Bilaasi bahu.

Ma: No but what is your (with emphasis) name.

BB: (laughing) ya THAT is my name.

Ma: No but that is your husbands name.

BB: You can call me Selampur waali.

Ma:But that is where you belong. I dont want your village's name. What is yours.

BB:You can call me Vinay's mother (Vinay ke maai).

Ma: But that's again your son's name.

BB: (highly amused) Them you can call me Mohan's mother (Mohan ke maai).

Ma: OK what was your name before you got married?

BB: OK like that. Rekha. But how does it matter? no one knows it. They all call me Bilaasi bahu, always.

So much for a name! Uff!!!!

The rest of the day was spent in playing football with the kids and feeding the goat (to which some people actually said something like "..feeding her right now, and then you will feed on her in another two months.."!!).

Another comparatively uneventful day, except the Bilaasi bahu incident. What is with having your identity that is completely dependent on someone else (it is not even yours then)!! I think an analogy can be drawn in the urban scenario to adoption of our husbands surnames after getting married. That also doesn't make sense to me!

Goodnight

:)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day2

August 2, Flooded Roads, Puncture, Overcrowded Train, Home Sweet Home!

The train was 3 hours late. We reached Muzaffarpur at around 12noon. The air was very humid, not all that warm though. Papa came to pick us up. Dumri (my village) was 3 hours drive from here. Exhausted by the train journey, but equally excited to see our village after so long, we hit the roads again. The first shock came to us in the form of flooded roads.

This was near Tilaktajpur, Bihar.The water was ankle deep, with no trace of the land on either sides. The kaccha houses were half drowned, and many families displaced. Tents had been planted on the roads as temporary homes for those affected by the mini-flood. Thanks to the Nitish Kumar government, flood relief units has already started operating and the situation was much under control!!

The next big thing was this amazingly overcrowded train. I am at a complete loss of words when I start describing it. It was bursting, true to the very core of the word. The video is a must watch to know what I am talking about.

After a brief halt (because of a tyre puncture :I) at Sitamarhi, which is the district under which my village comes, we finally reached home at around 4 in the evening. The place was so welcoming it almost felt like I was never going back. After a brief introduction with all the housekeepers and their kids, I started exploring the house. It was nothing like the previous one, which is still there, in parts, and is almost 100years old, but the very fact that it was built almost on the same foundation was satisfactory enough.

That's it for the day.

Goodnight :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day1

August 1, The Train Journey:

We boarded the train to Muzaffarpur at 3pm. The train journey was long, 19 hours, but I dint mind it at all. I love trains. It's the only place where I can sleep all the time, and no one can say a thing. I was carrying my copy (actually Priyam's, but mine as of now) of "Sea of Poppies" and was hell bent on finishing it before coming back (because I knew I wouldn't get time once i was back).

The train journey was quite uneventful, the usual, and then the long sleep!

A passing thought

the sun

warm

it whispers something

unaware i am

not notice

the shade

tempting

some hint

i ignore

move on

i laugh

i live

i love, i think

you-me-i, us

never

amen

Why!!

"The moment you think of giving up, think of the reason you held so long, and that will give u the reason to survive longer."

Why is it that relationships, that we nurture with so much love and affection, suddenly seem alien to us when even a minor thing goes wrong? We invest loads the trust, love and understanding into each of our relationships but still there are times when the thought of giving up on them is so strong that it seems almost tangible. Agreed that there are times when we are betrayed, when are faith in someone is completely shaken, and when the other person does nothing to fulfill our expectations, but is it so hard to forgive them and move on in life? Instead, we hold on our grudge and prepare to give it all back to them, with interest.

P.S. I wrote this last year and I don't remember exactly why. But I still am intrigued by the same thoughts. Why?

18 July!

18 July 2006: The best decision for my life was taken by the worst person I have ever known.

I feel so stupid when I think about what happened 3years ago, and how much it meant to me at that point in time. I was sure I would never get over it, but I did. Eventually. Time does heal everything, at least most of the things that are ugly memories and scar your mind to such an extent that you have no option but to not think about it at all (but even with that in mind, you do end up thinking about it!).

Thanks for being such a horrible person, it made flushing you out of my life so easy. And thanks for taking that decision. If not for that, I would have probably suffocated to death!

Garaj Baras!

I just love rains! They bring out the retard kid in me. I am always a happier person after I've enjoyed my rain!

Rain rain, Come again!

Just!

Well I want to blog, but there is nothing concrete that I want to write about. So I think I will just pen down the recent bittersweet developements since last week!

Here I go!

1. I moved out of my house after ONE WHOLE WEEK! That was the longest I stayed at home since last year and only I know how bad it was. (Ya well being grounded is never fun, but this one was terrible-one week!!)

But then I can always count on Lakshya to get me out of trouble! We had ECA auditions. They were great too!

2. I had a fight with one of my closest friends (This is the nth time I'm using this sentence in the past month-it's 8th today, by the way- each time for a different 'close friend'!). OK so this wasn't really a fight, just some stupid misunderstanding, which I haven't figured out correctly yet! (Yea! That's the bitter of the bittersweet.)

3. Unexpected outings are always more fun than planned ones. Met a couple of friends few days back, the auto ride being the best part about it.

4. Almost the whole of Lakshya went to Subway for lunch (at 4pm!) yesterday!. I love Subway, and I love Lakshya even more, so this definitely needed a mention.

5. Another 'close friend' of mine (Hahahhahha!!) cleared the mess that had accumulated between us in the recent past. I might meet him tomorrow. :)

6. Ma isn't mad at me anymore (ignorance is bliss), and about Chumki, I don't really want to comment (thoroughly 'bitter').

I think that's about it I guess. Not really an eventful week, but still there are always things that are worth mentioning. :D

Rain: Part II

Well this time it was a lot more eventful, therefore a longer post.

Morning - 5.30:

Nothing worth mentioning happened.

5.30 - 6.16:

B had just left. I was stuck in GK 1 with 12kg of 'stuff'. My cell phone had conked off long time ago (the battery has been screwing up a lot these days, doesn't even last a day!). And I was waiting for A, who seemed to be coming from the other part of the world (Bugger wasn't taking any calls from B's number while she was with me. So technically even if he was in some other part of the world, there was no way I would have known!!). I' d decided to wait till 7 and then make a move. But obviously He had other plans altogether.

The next few minutes were as if they had been taken out straight from some novel, or some cheesy Hindi movie. Full on bollywood style aandhi-toofan, lonely girl with her 'stuff' waiting for help!

Finally at around 6ish A came. He was sort of "disoriented about the ways", and that had taken him that long. OK, no questions asked, no explanations sought.

6.16 - 7ish:

We were randomly walking in the market, all soaked (me:full, A:li'l bit). Had bhel puri (although A wanted to have "save" puri, but realised it a bit too late.), sat for sometime, and finally decided to leave for home.

7ish - 7.30:

We died looking for an auto. In the beginning it was all fun but not so for long! Somehow no auto would be ready to go to Mayur Vihar. (I don't live in some other bloody city! Just because it's "yamuna paar" doesn't mean you buggers can refuse!). So we decided to take an auto till Nehru Place and then a 492 from there.

Meanwhile the following developments had taken place:

1. Both my chappals had broken!

2. My jeans were falling, no belt. :(

3. My shoulder was already quite screwed, the 6kg 'stuff' didn't make it better!

4. I was COLD!

7.30 - 7.50:

Got a bus without any hassle. The only problem was that it was slower than a bullock cart, thanks to Delhi traffic and rains! It somehow dragged till the Lajpat turn and finally started moving! Not really bothered about the eventualities, we were busy talking shit, then A playing 'Asphalt', another round of non-sense talks, etc; quite amusing for others in the bus. They obviously thought we were two retards, just escaped from somewhere! (I definitely looked like one, and A was with me, so...).

And obviously 492 wasn't really on my side, so instead of taking Sarai Kale khan, we took DND. And that meant that I would have to go to Noida now, and then figure out an auto from there!

7.50 - 8.50:

I was supposed to get off at the first stop after DND, that being Rajnigandha, which obviously didn't happen. According to A, Sab mall was the best place to get down at, which, according to me, was in the other direction! And yes it was in the other direction. So we got off somewhere in Sec-20! No auto was ready to go to MV (!!!!!!). So we decided to take a rick till 18 and then an auto. I was pissed, thoroughly! (not with anything else but that stupid 492).

9ish - 9.30:

I got into the auto, A left. The auto didn't move! Apparently the other auto was parked in a such a way that mine couldn't get out. 10mins, finally moving. Too much traffic, so we took the 16A route. The auto stalls at the16A red light. 15mins (by this time I've already gotten in and out of the auto 5-6 times to get another one, obviously in vain). Somehow made a move!

9.30 - 11.00:

Ma and Chumki obviously knew what had happened. They had managed to call up both A and B, and I had no clue about it. I knew it was stupid to even try to cover up, so I just gave in. Pretty screwed up scene, but.. "shit happens!"..

The last part compensated for the whole day, law of averages governs my life after all! So I knew it was coming since long back, and it did set some very important things straight for me, so I'm not even complaining:

1. I told them about the camera thing, in each and every detail possible (I haven't blogged about it but you will know it if you know me). That means I will be rich . :D

2. I dumped P. :D :D :D

A long, though thoroughly satisfying day! Phew!

P.S. A, B and P are not random variables! Friends with identities not disclosed.

Rain: Part I

It finally rained today! Such a relief.

Monsoons have finally hit Delhi too, or so I want to presume after a li'l bit of rain.

Astrology.com Specials Part II

I can't believe how insensitive this site is. I'm sure it's got some personal issues with me! (Wasn't it obvious the last time they mailed me, that they had to rub it in again!)

This is what they came up with today:

Subject: Is It Really Over?

Dear Mishika,

Can't believe it's over? Can't stop thinking about all the good times you shared? Do you find yourself wondering if he's gone for good, or if he'll see the light and return? You're not alone! Devastating heartbreak can happen to anyone, but there is someone out there who can give you the answers you need. A psychic can help you get inside his mind -- so that you can win back his heart! New customers, choose your special offer: Get the first 3 minutes free, or enjoy 10 minutes for only $1.99!

All I want to know is: why me!!!!!

Random..

"I don't know why love starts or why it ends, but it only seems real when it's in a mess." -Head Over Heels.

"How liberating it is to love someone so much, and not be able to love anyone else, at all..

And not care whether that someone loves you, or not, or someone else, or have the potential to love anyone at all.." -Mishika

बस यूँ ही..Bass yun hi..

इंतेज़ार की आड़ में उम्मीद लगाएँ बैठें हैं,

कब से उस एक पल की आस लगाए बैठें हैं,

कभी ना कभी तो आएगा वो दिन,

अन्दर से एक आवाज़ दस्तक देती है,

बस यूँ ही..

कुछ देर से ही सही पर कुछ कर गुज़र जाएँगे,

कुछ देर से ही सही पर कभी तो भुला पाएँगे,

सोच कर कुछ ऐसा लबों पर मुस्कान आती है,

बंद होटों से जो नज़रों में समा जाती है,

बस यूँ ही...

कभी तो दिल से दिमाग जीत जाएगा,

सफ़र कभी तो अपनी गति बढेगा,

एक न एक दिन ऐसा भी आयेगा,

सोच के ऐसा ये दिल ललचाता है,

बस यूँ ही...

नज़रें कभी तो थक कर दम तोडेंगी,

उम्मीद कभी तो इंतज़ार का दामन छोडेगी,

कभी तो रुकेगा ख्वाइशों का कारवां,

कभी तो हम भी हंस सकेंगे खुद पर,

बस यूँ ही...

(For those who have trouble reading hindi)

Intezaar ki aad mein umeed lagaye baithe hain,

Kab se uss ek pal ki aas lagaye baithe hain,

Kabhi na kabhi to ayega woh din,

Andar se ek awaaz dastak deti hai,

Bass yun hi...

Kuch der se hi sahi par kuch kar guzar jaenge,

Kuch der se hi sahi par kabhi to bhula paenge,

Soch kar kuch aisa labon par muskaan aati hai,

Band hoton se jo nazron mein sama jaati hai,

Bass yun hi...

Kabhi toh dil se dimag jeet jaega,

Safar kabhi toh apni gati badhaega,

Ek na ek din aisa bhi ayega,

Soch ke aisa yeh dil lalchata hai,

Bass yun hi...

Nazarein kabhi toh thak kar dum todengi,

Umeed kabhi toh intezaar ka daaman chhodegi,

Kabhi to rukega khwaashion ka karawaan

Kabhi toh hum bhi hans sakenge khud par,

Bass yun hi...

Just randomly at 1am last night, had nothing better to do (that's obviously a lie. I could have read, slept, anything but THIS!!)

Inspired from the poem (otherwise fictitious) that Julia Stiles reads in the end for Heath Ledger in "10 Things I Hate About You".

{ I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.}

This is what my version is like:

I hate you for the fact that you know me so well,

I hate to think of the moment for you when I fell.

I hate to cry whenever I think of you,

I hate that with each other, we no longer have anything to do.

I hate the paths that I now have to travel alone,

I hate to admit that from my life you're gone.

I hate everything that reminds me of you,

I hate the fact that I don't really hate them too.

I hate to see how you just don't care,

I hate to know there is nothing we anymore share.

I hate to dream all day (and night) about you,

I hate the fact that you still just see through.

I hate how you threw me out of you life,

I hate the fact, that without you it's so hard to survive.

I hate to come up with excuses so that we can meet,

I hate that without you, I feel so incomplete.

I hate to be always giving you a thought,

I hate it so much because you still mean hell a lot.

I hate it when out of the blue I get your text,

I hate it when I spend hours thinking-what next?

I hate the fact that I can hate you never,

Because loving you once, now means loving you forever!!

P.S.: No (questioning) comments, please!

Cheero again..I love!

He has grown up. Almost 5months now. I love him more than ever. His name is more significant than anyone could ever imagine.

With all my love,

To Cheero!!