Sunday, January 24, 2016

New Year and All That Jazz

I had a brilliant opening to the year, less clutter, more positivity and definitely more happiness.

But the last two weeks have left me thinking about the point of all the momentary pleasures which make us give on the permanent ones. After all, what's the point of all this? After all, the moment will pass and we will be left with nothing, nothing at all.

I read about the death of Rohith Vemula. I had no, or probably very little, knowledge about the events that let to his suicide. But his last words struck a chord with me. Rohith talked about the feeling of emptiness that we all have, every once in a while. He talked about things that I think about. Few seconds, minutes, hours before he decided to take his life, this is what he had to say:

"Our feelings are second handed. Our love is constructed. Our beliefs coloured. Our originality valid through artificial art. It has become truly difficult to love without getting hurt.."

The more I think about it, the more I understand it. Life has to have more to it than temporary decisions based on temporary emotions. It can not always be about living in the moment, especially moments that may destroy the future that could have been.

A lot of this doesn't make sense, a lot of it doesn't make sense to me either. My actions are not guided by clarity of thought but mostly because I apprehend what will happen if I do, actually, think things through.

As of today, all I know is that decisions are best taken when you are fully conscious of the consequences that will follow. If you are not aware of those, or choose to be denial about them, they will come back and haunt you in the long run.

You can run, you can hide (and although you may be able to escape someone's love), you can't escape from life. It has a way of catching up with you are reminding you of all that you've done, and all that you could've done.

Memories are a bitch, seldom do we realise that they'll last a lifetime. Must be very careful about making them. They'll come and haunt you too.