Odd, she thought, how intensely you knew a person, or thought you did, when you were in love- soaked, drenched in love- only to discover later that perhaps you didn't know that person quite as well as you had imagined. Or weren't quite as well known as you had imagined to be.

In the beginning, a lover drank in every word and gesture and then tried to hold on to that intensity for as long as possible. But inevitably, if two people were together long enough, that intensity had to wane. It was the way people worked, with the need to evolve from being sick with love to making a life with someone who was also changing, evolving.

Cogito ergo sum.

I think (?) I've stopped thinking.
Does that mean I have stopped existing as well?

Let me think some more.

There is something about all my relationships. They seem real only when they are utterly dysfunctional.

"when everything seems like the movies, yea you bleed just to know you're alive"
One of my favorite songs. Guess I took it too literally.

#timetostoptakingshit

Relationships- Bad Investments?

Out of all the relations I have had in my life, the only ones which seem to reap whatever I sowed are the ones with my family. In fact, they reap more, every time.

After the falling apart of another relationship, I'm compelled to think how much time and energy do we end up wasting on each of these people who come and go out of our lives, all the time?
I had a best friend who stole my camera and sold it back to me, another one who managed to turn me against my own team (the team I consider family now), my boy-best-friend who went to another city and never turned to look back, and now this. In matters of love, when do you know you've done enough?

We invest our everything to make things work and they still don't. We box-up our self esteem aside and give in to desperate measures to save what we had. We do much more, and we still end up losing everything. I do.

I do, and maybe it is just me. But what I do know is that it isn't because I'm a bad person, it's because I let you down this one time and you aren't willing to give me another chance.

P.s. I'm writing all this truly believing in the fact that no one visits my blog. Don't disappoint me.

1.34pm

The only reason why I'm compelled to write this is because no one has the patience to hear me out otherwise. Maybe this is a waste of time and maybe I'm going to make absolutely no sense, but what matters is that I make sense to myself.

So I don't know if it was the alcohol talking, or would I have got the same reaction even if we were all sober. All that I do know is that the four of us (three plus one) did end up having the most serious conversation in the 4-5months I've known them.

What were we talking about- if it's OK to take one's life.
(This is sort of irrelevant but this started because I said something to the effect of  "I'm glad the guy who jumped on the track died. Would have been miserable if he had survived"- regarding this.)

Well, is it?

Yes. Why not? I mean all the time we're giving everyone a lot of crap about how its "our life", and only "we" get to make all the decisions regarding it. And we do this all the time- in front of parents (specially them; it's sort of become a trend to not agree with them. I see it happening all around me; I do it myself.), friends (actually, they mostly fall in the same bracket), siblings (who interfere in everything you do, wear, eat-everything! Mine does, all the time!), random aunties who think it's their moral obligation to tell you what (not) to wear, relatives who will tell you when and to whom should you get married, teachers who will decide when you can watch porn, or kiss, or have sex... Everyone has a say, in every thing that you do. And you don't like it!

So it's just simple logic. If you say "It's my life", I will (only logically) tell you "you have the right to take it."

There is this theory (I don't really know if it's a theory out there, but it's there in my head). So, the theory is that life is given to you, and no one has the right to take it (or something along those lines). Not even you yourself-because?

I don't know. I never found the answer.
Even if I did, it never seemed satisfactory.
Maybe that's why I don't retain it.

The North and South of Delhi University

Because this year has been so harsh on me (and even worse on friends around), there is nothing more I wish for right now than this year to get over.

2012, Please come soon!

And because so many things have happened, there was no time to blog.

But killing these ten days is going to be more difficult than I thought, so I'd rather vent here than anywhere else.

If I hadn't announced it already (clears throat), I'm doing law! Law from North Campus. Now when I come to dissect this, I cannot decide which out the two is a bad thing (if at all any of it is, that is). I've wanted to do law since long (or so I think), and I'd already dropped it once. Dropping it the second time would have killed me. But the thing is that I fell in love with film-making in these three years (remember three years of graduation? I did it in Journalism), and divorcing that killed me too. It's the second-toughest choice I've ever had to make in my life. (The first one was dropping either Maths or Biology in 12th- I dropped Maths)

Now the North Campus part. When the whole world was pining to get into North, I had comfortably settled down in Kamala Nehru, an off-South Campus college. And when people had started growing tired of it, I wanted to spend my every breathing second there (owing to, of course, the many many friends I had there). And now, when all have them have passed out (Yes, people clear college and move on with life!), I am here, in North, for the next THREE years.

For someone who has not been a part of Delhi University, understanding this Campus war will be difficult. Let's just say the even though most of North Campus college are arch rivals, when it comes to rivalry with South Campus colleges, they gang-up. And while being in North Campus is in itself a status quo, The South-ies are always ready to defend their Campus.

Anyhow, the thing is, I'm doing Law, and I'm doing it from North Campus. Period.

P.S. I finally turned 21. I'd started feeling like I was the only one who hadn't hit the mark yet; somehow the whole world had crossed it much before I did!

DUSU Elections: Of floods and Cops!

I'm referring to them as 'floods' just because it's more dramatic than just 'rain' or 'water-logging'.

I thought I'd have much more to say when I was clicking these, but somehow now I don't want to.
I guess that is what happens when you discuss politics all the time; you get sick of it.

Security arrangement on Chhatra Marg, right outside Faculty of Law

Ramjas, Back Gate

Delhi Metro, Platform number  2

Chhatra Marg

Again!

Back to security

I was just trying to be cool. :p

P.s. Somehow the cop-show and the Delhi rains ended up becoming more interesting that the whole election process.