The North and South of Delhi University

Because this year has been so harsh on me (and even worse on friends around), there is nothing more I wish for right now than this year to get over.

2012, Please come soon!

And because so many things have happened, there was no time to blog.

But killing these ten days is going to be more difficult than I thought, so I'd rather vent here than anywhere else.

If I hadn't announced it already (clears throat), I'm doing law! Law from North Campus. Now when I come to dissect this, I cannot decide which out the two is a bad thing (if at all any of it is, that is). I've wanted to do law since long (or so I think), and I'd already dropped it once. Dropping it the second time would have killed me. But the thing is that I fell in love with film-making in these three years (remember three years of graduation? I did it in Journalism), and divorcing that killed me too. It's the second-toughest choice I've ever had to make in my life. (The first one was dropping either Maths or Biology in 12th- I dropped Maths)

Now the North Campus part. When the whole world was pining to get into North, I had comfortably settled down in Kamala Nehru, an off-South Campus college. And when people had started growing tired of it, I wanted to spend my every breathing second there (owing to, of course, the many many friends I had there). And now, when all have them have passed out (Yes, people clear college and move on with life!), I am here, in North, for the next THREE years.

For someone who has not been a part of Delhi University, understanding this Campus war will be difficult. Let's just say the even though most of North Campus college are arch rivals, when it comes to rivalry with South Campus colleges, they gang-up. And while being in North Campus is in itself a status quo, The South-ies are always ready to defend their Campus.

Anyhow, the thing is, I'm doing Law, and I'm doing it from North Campus. Period.

P.S. I finally turned 21. I'd started feeling like I was the only one who hadn't hit the mark yet; somehow the whole world had crossed it much before I did!

Hello Bombay!!

I smile every time I think of what I did in Bombay. And I smile because I can explain it better just by doing that.
Every time I did something awesome, I made a mental note of blogging about it. But somehow, none of that is going to be written here. One, because it is tooo much. And second, because it was one crazy trip, and people are judgmental.

So just posting pictures. Clicked around 300, but would be posting only selected few.
Rest are here and there.

                                                               Across  Victoria Terminus

                                                     Jewelery Shop, Colaba Causeway

                                                       Antiques, Colaba Causeway

                                                               Gateway of India

                                           Bugghy Ride, reminds me of 'Salaam Bombay'

                                                 Somewhere, where I'm not supposed to be.

                                                          'The' Taj

                                               Marine Drive, not supposed to be here either.

                                                                   Bombay Boys

Marine Drive, 05.48am

                                                                 Sea-Link, to Bandra

                                                                          Sea Link

                                                                       Cafe Mondegar

                                                     Colaba Causeway, another random shop.

                                                                            I want!

                                  Cafe Leopold, 26/11, part of history. And, of course, Shantaram.

                                                                    Chow-party!

                                                               Bagdadi Restaurant

                                                                     Navy Nagar

                                                                      Marine Drive


P.S. I know it's Mumbai, and not Bombay. Please don't bother pointing that out. I will still call it Bombay. :)

First By-Line!

Yes I got my first by-line in today's Mail Today, pg 14!!



Its a great feeling to see my name there :D.
The image isn't all that clear, so posting a link (or you can just click on the pic).
(http://epaper.mailtoday.in/Details.aspx?boxid=24942390&id=37557&issuedate=762010)


"By Mishika Singh in New Delhi".. Fancy, ain't it??

Also, Happy Birthday to my chuddy buddy (amongst other things), so double celebration!!

On a High,
Mish-ika ;)

Mail Today!

I started interning with Mail Today from June 1.I attended my first Press Conference, and filed my first report. Needless to say, i'm getting into this whole journo feel and am loving it.

P.s. Waiting for my first byline.

P.p.s. I'd be uploading whatever I write over here, even if it doesn't get published. Please feel free to comment. In fact, you'll be doing me a favour :)

For my Love!

I see her on some nights,

Those fateful nights,

Feeding cats in her balcony.

I'm tempted to make my presence felt.

And I do.

And she notices.

I stare.

Flashes of those 15years pass by, just pass by.

For a moment, I think, she looked at me too.

Smiled, maybe.

I don't know if she knows what I feel,

Or maybe she feels the same too.

Will it ever be alright, I wonder.

And with that thought,

Amen!

DTC, My Love!

:'(

09.03.2010

Trying hard to fight fate,

A fate that is still unknown,

Trying to figure out what (who) is meant for me,

Or if forever I have to be alone.

I took a decision sometime back,

Which till today was the best i'd taken so far,

But now I'm as unsure as I was before,

Wondering if my whole world will fall apart.

I'm scared of what lies in store for me,

Scared of the future that's yet to come,

Scared that it will get ruined again,

Scared that I will have nowhere to run.

Disappointed,

Mish-ika

Kol-ka-taaa!!

Just uploading some pics because no words can do justice to what I felt when I was there. :D

The Good, the Bad (and the Inevitable End!) of Relationships :X

Somehow all relationships that I thought, even till the beginning of this year to be lifelong, ended in the most disgusting way. I don't know if it was my fault (I'm so sure I can't be wrong always!!) or the other person, but the fact remains that we are no longer a part of each others life.

Instance 1: I knew her for the longest time I have ever known a person. She was my 'best friend forever' type friend. We'd been there, with each other, through thick and thin, through everything. Still something went wrong, something so grave that it cannot be reversed no matter how hard I try. It just cant be back to what it was. I am still friends with her, still same on the face of it, but deep down I know I can never trust her, never ever. Its ruined, forever! :(

Instance 2: If ever there was any person who came close to me in the shortest time period possible, it was this friend from school. We were best friends for about two-three years and suddenly that came to an end too, in another disgusting but sort of expected way. I still did expect us to sort it out sooner or later, but i guess its already to late. I have learnt so much from this. One thing is for sure, I can never invest 100% in any of my relationships because I am more than sure that it will end. So well, whats the point?? *sigh*

Instance 3: The same happened with another close friend. We had issues with how we dealt with stuff on a regular basis. But that was something we always sorted out. Then suddenly he walked out of my life. no questions, no explanations. just (maybe not so) randomly. But now I know think it was sort of a good thing to happen, for reasons I'm still trying to get straight in my head. All i know is I can never be friends with him again, for the simple fact that you are no on to keep walking-in and out of my life as per your own convenience. Hello!! I might be an emotional fool, but I'm not all that dumb!

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is, after seeing all this in just year (actually from March to June only), that all relationships do come to an end sooner or later. I am no one to make such a comment about everyone, but it definitely is true for me. No matter how hard I (we??) try, it just does end. People don't remain in touch, some just get better friends, and most just generally grow apart. There is this expiry date that comes along with all my relationships, its just inevitable.

And I'm living with it now, and it's just a very convenient thing to do as of now. Regrets can come later if they have to.

Main khush hoon aaj khamakha!!

I've not been this happy for quite a while now. There is no particular reason (maybe there is, still figuring it out though!) but its just a phase which I want to enjoy till it lasts, and write about it so that I can feel the same joy again when I read it later.

There is no justification for doing something that is wrong, because since you know it is a wrong, the justification doesn't help. The other option can be to not think about it. Right now I know I am wrong, and as she said it- "It's karma, it will all come back to you sooner or later."- I'm ready for that also. Being selfish isn't that bad a thing after all, specially when you have given the other person food for thought.

I'm enjoying this time and I refuse to get out of it for my selfish reasons. I know I'm hurting people but then I've been hurt too. (Just when I thought I was happy, I realised how cynical I have become!!)

Anyway,

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ya iss dil mein hai koi wajah

Na jaanu main iss mod par

Ajab aisa hua hai kya

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ki dil mein khushi ke rang hain

Aur mann mein shukriya

Ki ye samay mere sang hai!

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Na darr na fikr hai ab mujhe

Takdeer to khud hi likhi hai

To kaun rok sakega mujhe??

What will be, will be!

We all have to resort to believing in destiny at some or the other point in our lives, and that usually happens when we don't have much idea about what is happening in our lives, or maybe even why it is happening.

If it is actually in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped, then more often than not we should be aware about what lies in store for us. This, surprisingly, doesn't happen. When anything goes wrong, we blame it on destiny. When there is no explanation for an event to occur, we blame it on destiny. When our brain stops comprehending whats happening around us, we blame it on destiny. In simple words, as soon as we think we are losing control over our lives, and someone (something!) has to take charge, we blame it on destiny!!

This blame-game just makes life easier. No questions asked, no explanations sought! It also is a really nice way to pacify oneself about their life. its not really our fault when things go downhill, "because its written". How convenient!

These are some of my favorite quotes on destiny:

No living man can send me to the shades Before my time; no man of woman born, Coward or brave, can shun his destiny.

Author: Homer

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
Author: Wiiliam Jennings Brian

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.
Author: John Oliver Hobbes

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
Author: John F Kennedy

No Non-Veg :(

Its almost September. Exactly 3 months and 9 days left until I can have non-veg again. Actually it shouldn't be a can. I still can, but I know for a fact that I won't.

I quit non-veg almost 9months back, on my 18th birthday, for a year. I never thought it was possible to control the temptation for so bloody long, but I'm proud of the fact that I survived! I'm all the more impressed with myself because my other family members have non-veg almost everyday, for all three meals!! We all just loove chicken (any kind), well-cooked mutton (mostly the type my mother makes), not that fond of fish though.

3 more months to go. Not enough motivation left in me but I know I will survive. I wish I had asked for something in return, like a mannat or something. Would have definitely been a great motivation. Nevertheless, I will survive!

Maybe the picture will make me feel better about not eating chicken!

Waiting!!

My first, and my Last!

I am still not able to believe that we actually bribed a policeman today. When it comes to things like these, I'm the one who'll probably stand against the world and argue about not engaging in any activity that is not correct, no matter what the circumstances are!!

We were pulled over by the cops for using mobile phone while driving. Not ready to spare 1000/- bucks for the challan, we ended up bribing him with Rs.400. I still can't believe I was party to the whole thing.

I swear this was my first, and my last, no matter what..! :(

Thank You! <3

For some reason i couldn't finish my village traveller series. Its been long since i last blogged. Nothing inspired me enough to blog about it, or maybe there were just too many things happening for me to write about them.

I've had quite an eventful week. Things I never expected happened, people that I never expected would call did, it all feels so surreal. But I'm not complaining. Its just a phase, and I know it will pass. I just wanted to thank Vidu and Anirudh for being there when I needed them. I know you guys will never read this,but still wanted to let others know that you mean a lot to me.

And Lakshya!! I love you. What would I ever do without you??

And since its his birthday and we aren't really in terms anymore, happy birthday. Have a great day. Everything has an expiry date, and so did our friendship. Hard luck! :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day3

August 3:

Bloody dogs:First nights almost peaceful sleep (too many mosquitoes!!!) was interrupted by stupid wild dogs who started barking so very loudly. Some had entered the house, which was left open at night. (That's how people in villages sleep.) To top it all, I realised i was sleeping alone and I had no idea where to go, so i just got up and , after so many many years, i was actually calling out for my mother like a small kid in desperate need. I finally went back to sleep in the other room, with my father!

Bilaasi Bahu: The next morning was quite muggy, thanks to the drizzling that went on the whole night. Fortunately the air was only humid and not hot.

Bilaasi bahu (bahu=daughter in-law) is our cook. That's how everone knows her. That's her identity and that has actually become her name. So finding out what really her name was was quite a task. This is what the conversation between Ma and her went like, following the discussion about finding out 'her' name:

Ma: Whats your name.

BB: Why its Bilaasi bahu.

Ma: No but what is your (with emphasis) name.

BB: (laughing) ya THAT is my name.

Ma: No but that is your husbands name.

BB: You can call me Selampur waali.

Ma:But that is where you belong. I dont want your village's name. What is yours.

BB:You can call me Vinay's mother (Vinay ke maai).

Ma: But that's again your son's name.

BB: (highly amused) Them you can call me Mohan's mother (Mohan ke maai).

Ma: OK what was your name before you got married?

BB: OK like that. Rekha. But how does it matter? no one knows it. They all call me Bilaasi bahu, always.

So much for a name! Uff!!!!

The rest of the day was spent in playing football with the kids and feeding the goat (to which some people actually said something like "..feeding her right now, and then you will feed on her in another two months.."!!).

Another comparatively uneventful day, except the Bilaasi bahu incident. What is with having your identity that is completely dependent on someone else (it is not even yours then)!! I think an analogy can be drawn in the urban scenario to adoption of our husbands surnames after getting married. That also doesn't make sense to me!

Goodnight

:)

18 July!

18 July 2006: The best decision for my life was taken by the worst person I have ever known.

I feel so stupid when I think about what happened 3years ago, and how much it meant to me at that point in time. I was sure I would never get over it, but I did. Eventually. Time does heal everything, at least most of the things that are ugly memories and scar your mind to such an extent that you have no option but to not think about it at all (but even with that in mind, you do end up thinking about it!).

Thanks for being such a horrible person, it made flushing you out of my life so easy. And thanks for taking that decision. If not for that, I would have probably suffocated to death!

Just!

Well I want to blog, but there is nothing concrete that I want to write about. So I think I will just pen down the recent bittersweet developements since last week!

Here I go!

1. I moved out of my house after ONE WHOLE WEEK! That was the longest I stayed at home since last year and only I know how bad it was. (Ya well being grounded is never fun, but this one was terrible-one week!!)

But then I can always count on Lakshya to get me out of trouble! We had ECA auditions. They were great too!

2. I had a fight with one of my closest friends (This is the nth time I'm using this sentence in the past month-it's 8th today, by the way- each time for a different 'close friend'!). OK so this wasn't really a fight, just some stupid misunderstanding, which I haven't figured out correctly yet! (Yea! That's the bitter of the bittersweet.)

3. Unexpected outings are always more fun than planned ones. Met a couple of friends few days back, the auto ride being the best part about it.

4. Almost the whole of Lakshya went to Subway for lunch (at 4pm!) yesterday!. I love Subway, and I love Lakshya even more, so this definitely needed a mention.

5. Another 'close friend' of mine (Hahahhahha!!) cleared the mess that had accumulated between us in the recent past. I might meet him tomorrow. :)

6. Ma isn't mad at me anymore (ignorance is bliss), and about Chumki, I don't really want to comment (thoroughly 'bitter').

I think that's about it I guess. Not really an eventful week, but still there are always things that are worth mentioning. :D

Just randomly at 1am last night, had nothing better to do (that's obviously a lie. I could have read, slept, anything but THIS!!)

Inspired from the poem (otherwise fictitious) that Julia Stiles reads in the end for Heath Ledger in "10 Things I Hate About You".

{ I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.}

This is what my version is like:

I hate you for the fact that you know me so well,

I hate to think of the moment for you when I fell.

I hate to cry whenever I think of you,

I hate that with each other, we no longer have anything to do.

I hate the paths that I now have to travel alone,

I hate to admit that from my life you're gone.

I hate everything that reminds me of you,

I hate the fact that I don't really hate them too.

I hate to see how you just don't care,

I hate to know there is nothing we anymore share.

I hate to dream all day (and night) about you,

I hate the fact that you still just see through.

I hate how you threw me out of you life,

I hate the fact, that without you it's so hard to survive.

I hate to come up with excuses so that we can meet,

I hate that without you, I feel so incomplete.

I hate to be always giving you a thought,

I hate it so much because you still mean hell a lot.

I hate it when out of the blue I get your text,

I hate it when I spend hours thinking-what next?

I hate the fact that I can hate you never,

Because loving you once, now means loving you forever!!

P.S.: No (questioning) comments, please!

Hey! I'm adopted!

Chumki's favorite pass time is to irritate me. This is something she aces. No matter how hard I try, I can't ignore her for long (You'll know exactly why if you know either of us well). And she is very creative when it comes to ways of irritating me.

So this time she came up with this whole story of how and why I was adopted (No I haven't been adopted. I am my parents child, but Chumki has a different story altogether!) This is what it goes like (explanation being given to R, in front of Ma):

"I am the first child, so obviously I was extremely pampered. Ma and Papa gave me so much that I got bored of everything (which includes all my toys, friends, books, etc etc). So they obviously wanted to get something that could entertain me for sometime at least. That's when they got her (i.e. Mishika) so that I wouldn't get bored. But later they got attached and adopted her."

Amusing!!

P.S. I have heard so many of these "how-and-why-I-was-adopted" stories that I don't even believe them anymore (initially I did :p).

Plus I resemble my family members way too much to buy that I am adopted.

Hard luck Chumki!!

Brida: Paulo Coelho!!

I just liked these lines/quotes/ideas/(whatever) a lot!!

• We study what we can see, but what we see is not always what exists.
• As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.
• The night is just a part of the day.
• Miracles can't be explained, but they exist for those who believe in them.
• What is outside is harder to change than what is inside.
• Judging oneself to be inferior to others is one of the worst forms of pride you can know, because it is the most destructive way of being different.
• It isn't explanations that carry us forward, it is our desire to go on.
• People get used to their own mistakes, and it's not long before they start taking them as virtues.
• This far, and no farther!
• They had confessed their love to each other and now, they were embarrassed to look each other in the eye.
• Love is no respecter of reasons.
• You only live twice- once when you are born, and once when you look death in the face.