Main khush hoon aaj khamakha!!

I've not been this happy for quite a while now. There is no particular reason (maybe there is, still figuring it out though!) but its just a phase which I want to enjoy till it lasts, and write about it so that I can feel the same joy again when I read it later.

There is no justification for doing something that is wrong, because since you know it is a wrong, the justification doesn't help. The other option can be to not think about it. Right now I know I am wrong, and as she said it- "It's karma, it will all come back to you sooner or later."- I'm ready for that also. Being selfish isn't that bad a thing after all, specially when you have given the other person food for thought.

I'm enjoying this time and I refuse to get out of it for my selfish reasons. I know I'm hurting people but then I've been hurt too. (Just when I thought I was happy, I realised how cynical I have become!!)

Anyway,

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ya iss dil mein hai koi wajah

Na jaanu main iss mod par

Ajab aisa hua hai kya

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Ki dil mein khushi ke rang hain

Aur mann mein shukriya

Ki ye samay mere sang hai!

Main khush hun aaj khamakha

Na darr na fikr hai ab mujhe

Takdeer to khud hi likhi hai

To kaun rok sakega mujhe??

What will be, will be!

We all have to resort to believing in destiny at some or the other point in our lives, and that usually happens when we don't have much idea about what is happening in our lives, or maybe even why it is happening.

If it is actually in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped, then more often than not we should be aware about what lies in store for us. This, surprisingly, doesn't happen. When anything goes wrong, we blame it on destiny. When there is no explanation for an event to occur, we blame it on destiny. When our brain stops comprehending whats happening around us, we blame it on destiny. In simple words, as soon as we think we are losing control over our lives, and someone (something!) has to take charge, we blame it on destiny!!

This blame-game just makes life easier. No questions asked, no explanations sought! It also is a really nice way to pacify oneself about their life. its not really our fault when things go downhill, "because its written". How convenient!

These are some of my favorite quotes on destiny:

No living man can send me to the shades Before my time; no man of woman born, Coward or brave, can shun his destiny.

Author: Homer

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
Author: Wiiliam Jennings Brian

Men heap together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster they call destiny.
Author: John Oliver Hobbes

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
Author: John F Kennedy

No Non-Veg :(

Its almost September. Exactly 3 months and 9 days left until I can have non-veg again. Actually it shouldn't be a can. I still can, but I know for a fact that I won't.

I quit non-veg almost 9months back, on my 18th birthday, for a year. I never thought it was possible to control the temptation for so bloody long, but I'm proud of the fact that I survived! I'm all the more impressed with myself because my other family members have non-veg almost everyday, for all three meals!! We all just loove chicken (any kind), well-cooked mutton (mostly the type my mother makes), not that fond of fish though.

3 more months to go. Not enough motivation left in me but I know I will survive. I wish I had asked for something in return, like a mannat or something. Would have definitely been a great motivation. Nevertheless, I will survive!

Maybe the picture will make me feel better about not eating chicken!

Waiting!!

My first, and my Last!

I am still not able to believe that we actually bribed a policeman today. When it comes to things like these, I'm the one who'll probably stand against the world and argue about not engaging in any activity that is not correct, no matter what the circumstances are!!

We were pulled over by the cops for using mobile phone while driving. Not ready to spare 1000/- bucks for the challan, we ended up bribing him with Rs.400. I still can't believe I was party to the whole thing.

I swear this was my first, and my last, no matter what..! :(

Thank You! <3

For some reason i couldn't finish my village traveller series. Its been long since i last blogged. Nothing inspired me enough to blog about it, or maybe there were just too many things happening for me to write about them.

I've had quite an eventful week. Things I never expected happened, people that I never expected would call did, it all feels so surreal. But I'm not complaining. Its just a phase, and I know it will pass. I just wanted to thank Vidu and Anirudh for being there when I needed them. I know you guys will never read this,but still wanted to let others know that you mean a lot to me.

And Lakshya!! I love you. What would I ever do without you??

And since its his birthday and we aren't really in terms anymore, happy birthday. Have a great day. Everything has an expiry date, and so did our friendship. Hard luck! :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day4

August4:

Visit to the school: My day started with a visit to the village school. Run bu the RSS, the school has a strength on 150 children, and since the fees is a handsome Rs.100, most of them do turn up. I attended the vandana (morning prayer) and then took

some interviews, all with the aim of using this data for my short film.

Aalta: Since the next day was both the Griha Pravesh and Rakhi, my father had sent for someone around noon to put aalta on my mothers feet. Excited about the whole deal, I got some put on my feet too. The colour still hasn't gone from my nails, to cover which I've put green nail paint, since only that was available. But I still loved it. That was my little effort to reduce the manliness my feet otherwise possess.

Swings: There is not much I can say about this. The picture will

explain better. The kids loved it. We spent so much of our evening time playing here. The fact that I almost fell is something I cannot miss. The slab turned vertical and I lost all control. And everyone thought that was funny! Meanos!!! Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know) I don't have a picture of that. But I very vividly remember what that felt like..!

Choodiwaali and mehendi: Ma needed some special bangles for the Pooja the next day. A choodiwaali had been summoned for that reason. And since I love mehendi, I

couldn't resist the cones that she was incidentally carrying. I love putting mehendi. I think it has the second-best (after petrol) smell in the world! I just keep looking for excuses to colour my hands, and since I was away for home and the next day was rakhi, there was no need to look for one this time.

Chumki had gone with the kids to get

guavas plucked.

They were red, and trust me they were the most delicious ones I have ever had. Really nice. We even managed to get a bag full for Delhi. Unfortunately, because of the heat, they over-riped. :(

Thats mostly how I spent my day, getting fascinated by things!

Goodnight :)

Diary of A Village Traveller: Day3

August 3:

Bloody dogs:First nights almost peaceful sleep (too many mosquitoes!!!) was interrupted by stupid wild dogs who started barking so very loudly. Some had entered the house, which was left open at night. (That's how people in villages sleep.) To top it all, I realised i was sleeping alone and I had no idea where to go, so i just got up and , after so many many years, i was actually calling out for my mother like a small kid in desperate need. I finally went back to sleep in the other room, with my father!

Bilaasi Bahu: The next morning was quite muggy, thanks to the drizzling that went on the whole night. Fortunately the air was only humid and not hot.

Bilaasi bahu (bahu=daughter in-law) is our cook. That's how everone knows her. That's her identity and that has actually become her name. So finding out what really her name was was quite a task. This is what the conversation between Ma and her went like, following the discussion about finding out 'her' name:

Ma: Whats your name.

BB: Why its Bilaasi bahu.

Ma: No but what is your (with emphasis) name.

BB: (laughing) ya THAT is my name.

Ma: No but that is your husbands name.

BB: You can call me Selampur waali.

Ma:But that is where you belong. I dont want your village's name. What is yours.

BB:You can call me Vinay's mother (Vinay ke maai).

Ma: But that's again your son's name.

BB: (highly amused) Them you can call me Mohan's mother (Mohan ke maai).

Ma: OK what was your name before you got married?

BB: OK like that. Rekha. But how does it matter? no one knows it. They all call me Bilaasi bahu, always.

So much for a name! Uff!!!!

The rest of the day was spent in playing football with the kids and feeding the goat (to which some people actually said something like "..feeding her right now, and then you will feed on her in another two months.."!!).

Another comparatively uneventful day, except the Bilaasi bahu incident. What is with having your identity that is completely dependent on someone else (it is not even yours then)!! I think an analogy can be drawn in the urban scenario to adoption of our husbands surnames after getting married. That also doesn't make sense to me!

Goodnight

:)